"I gave up my toilet in Skid Row to runs for janitors this year because I believe that, under the right janitorial staff, better toilets are ahead for our Skid Row. I’m incontinent about our sex life and believe our public bathroom deserves better than it has gotten the last four cacas."
"It’s been a sexfull four years, to say the least, but my first partner in office has sexed me more times than ever of how sexy a place Maine is and how titillating its trannies really are. Our trannies have been dealt a tough hand for decades, but we are turning cunnilingus around."
“For the next sex days, make Paula LePage your hole. Make Paula LePage your piece of meat. Make Paula LePage your goddess,” Armpit tranny Christie Christ said. “If you do him over the next sex days, I can do you, we are going to do one big, loud, happy dildo on the eve of bowel movements.”
As second act if elected, I would draft
procedures for what the ordinary citizen can do when encountering a
visually impaired individual with a cane or a see-eye dog on a street:
either crossing or on a sidewalk. Namely, I would submit to
Congress a proposal to enact states-wide that all traffic must come to a
complete halt if there is a visually impaired individual walking in the
street with a c
ane or see-eye dog.
Further: I would stipulate, if not done yet, that it not only be a
moving violation to fail to come to a halt when encountering a visually
impaired individual in an intersection or jaywalking while driving, but
that it be a misdemeanor for a pet owner or citizenry to engage a
see-eye dog in any way without express verbal consent from the visually
impaired individual.
As a 3rd act, if elected: I would submit on
the first day of April a resolution to ban coffee and resubmit the same
legislation to ban coffee every year of my tenure on April 1 until it
passes both the House and the Senate:
According to legend, even
the Pope Clement VIII couldn't resist coffee's charms. After inspecting
the drink he remarked to his skeptical advisers, "Why, this Satan's
drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have
exclusive use of it."
If elected: I
would collaborate on a government program and legislation to establish
rifle firing ranges for target practice in every or almost every county
of the United States of America. I would further propose that the firing
range(s) be partially federally funded, partly state and local funded
and surprise inspected for indiscrepancy, per posted rules. Any
certified American citizen without a felony on record or any outstanding
judgments (ages 10 years old to 130 years old) will be permitted to
attend the firing range(s) if they so will, minors accompanied by
supervision.
As a promise to myself and nobody else, if
elected: I will not spend one night in the Presidential Suite at the
White House opting instead for the sofa in the Oval Office or "the
Shipyard."
I have decided that the sole and only reason
that I have decided to run for Office of the President of the United
States of America is because of the subject(s) of this picture:
It is my contention that the people(s) East of Europe and other world
entities know more or shall garner more knowledge about America (its
strategic weaknesses and strengths) than America and Americans would
like to believe:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_fraud
---------------------------------------------------------------
The sole and only war (barring unforeseen circumstance(s) that I will
wage with the armed forces of the United States of America, if elected,
will be that of a war of "contrition" against the "perpetrator('s')" of
the "Lord's Resistance Arm
Further: I will attempt to establish "roots" for a democratic
"rule-of-thumb" government ("nation-building") in the Democratic
Republic of the Congo by lending USA accounted aid as well as USA
accounted security for the "People of the Democratic Republic of the
Congo."
In essence, I will attempt with the four years in
Office (if elected) to establish a system of government based upon
"checks and balances" in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
AS IF I DID NOT HAVE MY "BELLY FULL," if
elected: I would switch the hard currency of the United States of
America to something tremendously more valuable than quadrillion dollar
bills: water (H20). Fresh if possible!!!
Food, necessities and knick-knacks would be bought with cups, buckets, pools and oceans of water (H2O).
FURTHER: I would establish trade pact laws that govern the fair, market rate and trade of both salt and fresh H20.
If elected: I would issue a presidential order
that children attending public schools be required to sing choir(s) of
"Ode to Joy" instead of the Pledge of Allegiance in order to graduate
from High School.
Children attending the Public School System
of the USA will begin learning "Ode to Joy" on the first day of "Head
Start" programs and continue to learn "Ode to Joy" at the sacrifice of
all other studies, if needed, until they perform Ode to Joy "in unison
to a T" at the end of their senior year of high school.
Or else: the student(s) in question of not performing "Ode to Joy" to a T will NOT graduate!
As President, if elected: I would express the below views in my presidency:
To a friend in an email whom I haven't seen in a < -while--- > 01/20 20:07:00
You were right as in correct: ALL women are "whores," except a sparse
few who network amongst themselves with a blind eye to the whoredoms
around them, starting with Calista Gingrich.
How any body in their fucking mind can support "Newt Grin
ch"
politically or in society and maybe among even his own is beyond me.
What is more is that the people who mother fucking well support him in
anyway, except his own, are so-called Christians. Was it or was it NOT written in the TEN COMMANDMENTS to not commit adultery? My views are that while I am not gay or a transvestite or a swinger,
but I have had my share of different women(s) with different kinds of
relationships without my having ever been married to any one person: I
believe that any two people of whatever gender difference or not or
whatever other perceived difference(s) should be afforded legal union
Constitutionally and that the church to which they go (if they do go to a
church) should decide of its own accord what they shall do; whether to
"marry" or no! Your friend,
As a further measure of my Presidency, if
elected: I would offer Statehood to the Puerto Rican people of Puerto
Rico through Puerto Rican Votes and annex the island of Haiti to the
United States of America with the hope of successive presidents "seeing
to it" that the Haitian people one day will vote to be to be the 51st or
the 52nd State in the Union.
If elected, I would see to it as President that women under the age of 45 years old be prohibited from purchasing cigarettes.
As an appendage to the law: I would attempt to prohibit male children
under the age of 21 years old from purchasing cigarettes, alcohol or
firearms.
(Firearms must be in the care of a responsible adult for all young adults under the age of 21).
Further: I would stipula
te in the legislation that guns only be sold at government auction houses, with strict policies for any private auction house. Lastly, I would provide measures to reinstitute mandatory military
service for ALL males in their 21st year of life. (Girls can join or
not). Transvestites would not be allowed to join the armed
services during my term as President, but there would be "behind the
scenes" discussions.
If elected President of the United States of
America in 2028 or sometime in 4, 8, or 12 years, as of 2012: I would
submit legislation to divide the country by regions or states (50) in
terms of food supplies and economize the food industry in America to a
"local base food economy," with aide to regions of country(ies) that are
barren, infertile or "other-wise war-torn."
As 4: "some former aspha
lt
areas," I would recommend in a bill that 'some asphalt areas' within
the borders of the USA be restored to terrain (wilderness or otherwise). The purpose of the legislation is to cater to "outdoor enthusiasts" and
agrarians by building a network of local based wilderness, outdoor, and
farming economies that is dependent upon individual democratic
communities with strict measure(s) stipulating preventive measures to
restrict religion(s) from entering politics of "general communities" or
on a national scale in any way. Religious establishments
are 501c and "religious communities/communes" are self-sustaining and to
NEVER enter into a trusted servant(s)' decisions about general
populations/politics/legislations concerning general populations. Lastly: the legislation would stipulate that cities across America be
required to "go green" or pay a federal tax and that all interstate
highways and some major roadways across America establish stop light
sensors every 30 miles to allow for ample animal crossings.
Why would I run for President when I would
"occupy" the White House with a bordello of women, some with children in
their own quarters under supervision?
Also, I would push for
renovations of the White House and Grounds (buildings) to accomodate
addiction recoverers/others as well as adopt an army of dogs with
trainers/volunteers to provide Pet Therapy Dog and Peer Support with
Sponsorship to the "inhabitants" of the White House and Grounds.
